Thursday, April 19, 2012

Back on the wagon...

It is with slight --> extreme embarrassment and a week or so history of horrible stomach pains that I declare my return to the gluten free world.

As I have said before in my blog, I ate gluten free for a solid 4 months last year and then on/off for 2 months after that. In August I stopped caring all together. All the symptoms that brought me to the decision to stop eating gluten in the first place were gone...and eating it again wasn't making those problems come back so why should I deprive myself of my favorite foods?

Since then, I have thoroughly enjoyed an exorbitant amount of gluten. And it was freaking tasty. No stomach aches, no diarrhea, I felt ok. I gained a lot of the weight back that I had lost but I was so busy with work, school, and work that I didn't really care. I was extremely exhausted and foggy though, and I guess I don't know if that was because of my busy schedule or because of eating the gluten again. But other than that tired feeling, I felt ok.

Last week, we went out for dinner with some friends and I got pasta. Ever since that night, any time I have eaten anything gluten filled, I have had a horrendous stomach ache, cramps, and many other unpleasant symptoms. It's like my symptoms laid dormant and then poof! Gluten hates Bri.

So Sunday night I sadly looked at Jason and said, ''I think it's time I try this again".

I felt/feel ashamed that I couldn't stick with the diet before. But truth be told, it's really hard to stick to. I love pasta, I love anything's always been my staple. I don't really like candy or sweets...but I love noodles! But once those stomach aches struck again, I knew I couldn't handle that for very long.

Jason was as sweet as he was last time I did this and said he will eat whatever I eat and he is totally fine with it. It's just embarrassing to have the guy I love so much see me so weak and see me try something and give up, lose weight, gain weight...and so on. I know he's in it for the long haul and there will be many more weak and embarrassing moments that he will witness in our marriage....but I still don't like it! I want to appear confident and put together at all times! (Ha! Right...)

So it's Wednesday night. I started eating gluten free on Monday morning. And I am not lying, I feel better already. My works scrubs which I wear every week to clinical already felt looser (pretty sure gluten makes me really bloated), I have not had a stomach ache since Sunday night, and the ''fog'' is started to clear. (The fog is a hard thing to explain...but it's real). It makes me want to cry because I feel so much better. And it makes me want to cry that I ever gave it up in the first place.

But it's just food. There is plenty of food out there I can still eat. And luckily, my past experience with this diet gave me great insights on yummy recipes and things I do/don't like. So a lot of the work has already been done for me. I need to put this lifestyle change into perspective....things could be a lot worse and least there is something I can do to change how I feel. Now I just have to stick to it.

I am looking forward to the next week or two because I know I will continue to feel better, I will be working less so I will have more time to devote to exercise and meal planning, and I will be able to relax!

I am looking forward to having some energy back. For all the reasons stated above...

: )

Wish me luck....and by this time next week I will be all done with teaching!! Yahoo!! (I love it...but I need a break)

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