Friday, August 30, 2013


As I scroll through Facebook and see all the pictures of everyone's cute little new families and smiling babies it makes me think.

Some days I think...I need that, I need that now. I want to hold, cuddle, and love something that I was a part of creating. Sounds pretty amazing.

Other days I think...I don't know if I need that. I love my life, I love my marriage, I love adventure, I love the freedom to drop everything and run or travel... that comes with having no children. Also quite amazing.

I am far too selfish and self absorbed right now to devote my life to a totally dependent being, right? I don't know.

The conflicting emotions I have about it worry me, and I know my husband feels the same way. We have always planned on being married for 5 years before we have kids. I like that plan but I also want to know if that's still the plan. Have we changed our minds? He is ok waiting til that five year mark, readdressing the issue then and enjoying this time we have together now. I, on the other hand, want to figure it out now. Why can't I enjoy it and relax too?

Why am I so impatient and unsure?

Does everyone know that they want a child with 100% certainty? What if we regret it? Why mess with a good thing?

Will our lives be incomplete without a child? What if we regret not having a baby? Why not add to a good thing?


Enjoying adventures in Cusco, Peru : )

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